Since for some reason I can't publish responses to my posts, I will post one here.
I am thanking God for you today.
After crying the entire morning because I am just so tired of fighting the schools, other parents, the perception that I am "The World's Worst Mother," I Googled the words "Asperger's" and "hopelessness" (because that's truly what I was feeling at the moment). Finding your blog and realizing there is another child struggling in ways exactly like mine Is - and another mother knocking herself out trying to find help for her son - has been a light in the darkness for me today in ways I can't begin to tell you. So thank you. You helped me dry my tears, pick my son up from school, and face those glaring teachers one more time.
There must be a reason why we are the mothers our sons chose to be born to. I may never know that reason, and many times I feel like the least qualified mother to take on this Sisyphean task. But knowing you are out there thinking thoughts just like mine gives me the strength to roll the boulder up one more day.
Blessings to you and your son. And thank you again for sharing your experiences.
I gave up on this blog years ago because I was locked out and couldn't figure out how to get back in. All the emails I had as backups for access no longer existed as we switched from one provider to another. I was frustrated, started another, and then wondered why I thought my experiences were so important that people would read them.
To Anonymous' comment above, please know that I understand 100% what you are going through. If you haven't already, it's time to hunker down for the long fight because Asperger's doesn't go away, and one battle won only means one battle won - there will be many more, and they will go on forever. Be prepared.
Rules to live by:
You are NOT a bad mother - if you are fighting for your child's rights in school and in other public sectors, you are an awesome mother
Don't worry about being thought of as a pushy bitch or rude. We Aspie moms can't be ladylike. We have to be tough. If we don't fight for our kids, nobody else will.
We are our child's best advocate. But we needn't advocate for them alone. Most larger cities have parent advocates that know the laws and know the rights our kids have in school. If you don't have one, look for one.
Your child is just being and Aspie. Many people will never understand that. I have had to get rid of friends who chose to believe I was using my son's diagnosis as an excuse to "allow" his misbehavior. ALLOW?? You try MAKING a 90 pound 9-year-old do what he "should" be doing. People are ignorant. Slowly Asperger's is getting "out there" into the public consciousness and it's helping a bit, but there will always be stupid people who think our kids are retarded, over-coddled, under-disciplined, etc.
YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD FOR YOUR CHILD, or you wouldn't be his(her?) mother. I don't think we're given these kids because we're special. I think we're given these kids because they help us BECOME special. We acquire, through blood, sweat, and tears, the strength and abilities needed to fight for our children and love them unconditionallly.
It never ends, but it gets better. Now Monster comes home from school after a bad day and I simply hug him and love him up. If he's bad at home, he gets disciplined at home. If he's bad at school I let them deal with it.
I've fought long and hard to get Monster mainstreamed and finally in third grade he is, even though he still can't stay in the class for long periods of time and sometimes not at all. He's still finally getting the same education as the other 3rd graders, which is more than what he was getting last year.
I have written letters insisting that my son get equal treatment in school and cc'd everyone from the local school district on up to the state special ed director of education and the state autism education specialist. I've done this more than once. They probably hate me. I don't care. I won. this one battle, I won.
Take it one day at a time. Surround yourself with parents who understand your child and you. Find a support group. Dump friends who can't understand you. Make new ones.
Visit ASDFriendly on the Internet. go to their forum. Join. Find the most wonderful group of parents of ASD children ever and see how many people are just like you. I don't go to the board anymore but many of the moms are still my friends. We're all in this together.
Hang in there, and God bless you, too. you will never stop crying and feeling frustrated occasionally. But you can also feel empowered and your love is your child's most important asset.
Best wishes. Good luck. Thanks for reading. I wish I had more time to still write but my life is awfully busy. I know if you go to ASD Friendly you will find something wonderful. Take care.
I am thanking God for you today.
After crying the entire morning because I am just so tired of fighting the schools, other parents, the perception that I am "The World's Worst Mother," I Googled the words "Asperger's" and "hopelessness" (because that's truly what I was feeling at the moment). Finding your blog and realizing there is another child struggling in ways exactly like mine Is - and another mother knocking herself out trying to find help for her son - has been a light in the darkness for me today in ways I can't begin to tell you. So thank you. You helped me dry my tears, pick my son up from school, and face those glaring teachers one more time.
There must be a reason why we are the mothers our sons chose to be born to. I may never know that reason, and many times I feel like the least qualified mother to take on this Sisyphean task. But knowing you are out there thinking thoughts just like mine gives me the strength to roll the boulder up one more day.
Blessings to you and your son. And thank you again for sharing your experiences.
I gave up on this blog years ago because I was locked out and couldn't figure out how to get back in. All the emails I had as backups for access no longer existed as we switched from one provider to another. I was frustrated, started another, and then wondered why I thought my experiences were so important that people would read them.
To Anonymous' comment above, please know that I understand 100% what you are going through. If you haven't already, it's time to hunker down for the long fight because Asperger's doesn't go away, and one battle won only means one battle won - there will be many more, and they will go on forever. Be prepared.
Rules to live by:
You are NOT a bad mother - if you are fighting for your child's rights in school and in other public sectors, you are an awesome mother
Don't worry about being thought of as a pushy bitch or rude. We Aspie moms can't be ladylike. We have to be tough. If we don't fight for our kids, nobody else will.
We are our child's best advocate. But we needn't advocate for them alone. Most larger cities have parent advocates that know the laws and know the rights our kids have in school. If you don't have one, look for one.
Your child is just being and Aspie. Many people will never understand that. I have had to get rid of friends who chose to believe I was using my son's diagnosis as an excuse to "allow" his misbehavior. ALLOW?? You try MAKING a 90 pound 9-year-old do what he "should" be doing. People are ignorant. Slowly Asperger's is getting "out there" into the public consciousness and it's helping a bit, but there will always be stupid people who think our kids are retarded, over-coddled, under-disciplined, etc.
YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD FOR YOUR CHILD, or you wouldn't be his(her?) mother. I don't think we're given these kids because we're special. I think we're given these kids because they help us BECOME special. We acquire, through blood, sweat, and tears, the strength and abilities needed to fight for our children and love them unconditionallly.
It never ends, but it gets better. Now Monster comes home from school after a bad day and I simply hug him and love him up. If he's bad at home, he gets disciplined at home. If he's bad at school I let them deal with it.
I've fought long and hard to get Monster mainstreamed and finally in third grade he is, even though he still can't stay in the class for long periods of time and sometimes not at all. He's still finally getting the same education as the other 3rd graders, which is more than what he was getting last year.
I have written letters insisting that my son get equal treatment in school and cc'd everyone from the local school district on up to the state special ed director of education and the state autism education specialist. I've done this more than once. They probably hate me. I don't care. I won. this one battle, I won.
Take it one day at a time. Surround yourself with parents who understand your child and you. Find a support group. Dump friends who can't understand you. Make new ones.
Visit ASDFriendly on the Internet. go to their forum. Join. Find the most wonderful group of parents of ASD children ever and see how many people are just like you. I don't go to the board anymore but many of the moms are still my friends. We're all in this together.
Hang in there, and God bless you, too. you will never stop crying and feeling frustrated occasionally. But you can also feel empowered and your love is your child's most important asset.
Best wishes. Good luck. Thanks for reading. I wish I had more time to still write but my life is awfully busy. I know if you go to ASD Friendly you will find something wonderful. Take care.
